The sixth season of 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way introduced a new term to the relationship lexicon: “soft partnering.” Coined by cast member Corona, this strategy involves concealing undesirable aspects of one’s personality and life from a partner. This article delves into the meaning of soft partnering, exploring its potential pitfalls and questioning its viability as a healthy relationship foundation.
Soft partnering, as demonstrated by Corona in her relationship with Ingi, entails presenting a curated version of oneself, suppressing any traits or behaviors deemed potentially off-putting. Corona explicitly warned Ingi that her true self, including the less desirable aspects she’d previously hidden, would emerge now that they were living together in Iceland. This raises the question: is soft partnering a recipe for disaster or a legitimate approach to relationship building?
The Pitfalls of Soft Partnering
The fundamental flaw in soft partnering lies in its inherent dishonesty. By concealing crucial aspects of their personality and life, individuals engaging in this strategy build their relationships on a foundation of lies and subterfuge. It’s akin to admitting that their true selves might be unacceptable to their partners, hoping that prolonged exposure will eventually lead to acceptance.
This approach is inherently problematic. It delays genuine connection and intimacy, preventing partners from truly knowing and understanding each other. Instead of fostering open communication and vulnerability, soft partnering cultivates a superficial dynamic where true feelings and potential conflicts are suppressed.
James and Metalia listening to her parents in 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way
Image: A scene from 90 Day Fiancé: The Other Way highlighting the complexities of intercultural relationships.
While presenting one’s best self at the beginning of a relationship is natural, relocating to another country to live with a partner implies a higher level of honesty and transparency. Soft partnering undermines this expectation, creating a significant power imbalance based on withheld information.
The Long-Term Impact of Deception
The long-term consequences of soft partnering can be devastating. As the concealed truths inevitably surface, the betrayed partner is left to question the authenticity of the entire relationship. The foundation of trust is shattered, making it difficult to rebuild. Ingi, for instance, is now faced with the challenge of re-learning who Corona truly is, potentially jeopardizing their future together.
Soft partnering ultimately hinders relationship growth. It replaces genuine connection with a fabricated reality, preventing the development of true intimacy and understanding. While the outcome of Corona and Ingi’s relationship remains uncertain, their story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of building a relationship on deception.
Is Soft Partnering Ever Justified?
While soft partnering generally appears detrimental, there may be nuanced situations where certain aspects of this approach are less harmful. For example, minor personal quirks or habits might be gradually revealed over time without significantly impacting the relationship’s foundation. However, deliberately concealing fundamental aspects of one’s personality or past experiences is rarely justifiable.
The core issue with soft partnering is the lack of trust and authenticity it fosters. Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, honesty, and the willingness to embrace each other’s flaws. While initial impressions are important, lasting connections are built on a foundation of truth and genuine acceptance.
